LOC BETWEEN BEING COOL AND BEING CONSCIOUS

Being a cool person helps one to get off the most clumsy situation.
this is indeed a nice attitude!
afterall who doesnt like to be in the company of cool ppl!

but here again is a small but very strong trouble awaiting the cool dudes and more so for the cool dudettes so to say!
the most cool ones are taken for granted.. and they really dnt mind being taken for granted though..
but the trouble arises .. when the degree of being taken for granted reaches its height!

after a certain level .. not only does it make things a bit clumsy for the Cool person
but also sort of does an image damage!

unbderstanding ones limits and staying within it..also doesnt help these "cool" ppl!
wat do u think could help these ppl out of the trouble!!

Dreaming.............

Dreams ...
i luv dreams ... be it dreaming with eyes closed...or dreaming with eyes wide open!

i m a believe in visualisation..
and mayb .. would luv to call myself a probability thinker ..
i believe everything has to first take its shape in mind even before it could take form in reality!!

its a mother's visualisation of her unborn child in her womb that makes her relate to the child!!
Visualising one's ambitions and aspirations could make him even more determined towards his goal!!

but my visualasation techniques have reached profound heights now..
i ve started visualising the impending vacations during office hours..


hmmmmm now i m visualising as to how u ppl reading this post would react!!
immediate reaction to comment this post!!
if so lemme know!!

cheers



dreams are such a strong medium to realise one's wishes!!

Thoughts-Venture

often, i m find myselff thinking about something or the other that is in total irrelevnce with wat i should be doing at that moment.
its jus a maze of thoughts ...but it happens for good.
Its through the adventure into the maze of thoughts, i apprise myself. ...a Self apprisal or rather crudely put a self realisation.
i ve never missed any oppurtunity to guage myself be it by myself or thru others.. ..
"wats ur opinion on me...?? " is a questioni repeat often to my friends ......and more so even to myself..
i luv to hear things from the lion's mouth!!!! rather than assuming wat exactly others might think of me..

but one of the rudest shock this thought venture gave me forced me to blog up this no matter how late i make it hme!!!

"Selfishness" this is the biggest accusation.. the thoughtventure graced me with..
in the name of trying to know wat i think and wat other think of me.. i think i ve grown a bit too self conscious..
this self conscious nature mite be a camouflaged self centric nature!!!
well.. i neither could reason out...the reason for my self conscious nature ..nor can i accept that i m self centric..(mayb i m really not)..
but this thought stream has held my thoughtventure still today!!

well... i m left here..sticking onto another maze ...is it perfectly alrite to try to know wats happening around u abt!!! or is any attempt to realise an unhealthy character trait!!

well.. .as i was abt to sign off this post .. i glanced thru this post..gosh... how many 'I's ,'Mine's, i ve used..
hmm.....!!!!!
:)

Thoughtless Words

often we are unmindful of the words we use.. and the person we use them to.
the pain it causes and the damage it does to the relationship can be collosal.
but y is this happening over and over ..even though we know the outcome those costly words!

may be we should get use not oly grey cells but also our heart when speaking to others!!

cheers

Silent Spouses… A Silent Life??

I met my friend today. She had actually dropped into give her marriage invitation.
We got talking about her fiancée. She described him as a man of few words and a silent demeanor. This girl is also a very coy, silent girl.
And my thoughts started clouding again with this topic..
With silent spouses,..How do people get their thoughts across? There is more to candid speaking in relationships as marriage than jus the regular “hi- bye”.
If silence is going be the mode of communication, will it help the relationship to grow leave alone thrive well!
While discussing this with another friend of mine, he suggested that the thought waves of the couple would sync with one another and form a new wave that both of them could relate to.
And hence the pieces of marriage fall into place beginning with the physical attraction aspect!
But again .. if even if the physical attraction should be so mechanical, auto-tuned as this, I feel, there is no point in being any different from the other fellow creatures of the world.
Communication or conversation that I m referring to here definitely isn’t limited to verbal world but also includes the non verbal communication!
More often in the name of not affecting other’s sentiments, emotions are hidden or worst of it are camouflaged. Pretending an emotion to be absent is far more acceptable than feigning some other emotion!
Maybe, on the other hand .. with time they realize the importance of communicative atleast to each other .. be it verbal or non verbal ..
But communication is indeed more Important than any other factor! Be it love, hatred, agony, sympathy , empathy ,anger or even lust ..everything needs to be expressed in order to be understood by the other person.
Unfortunately all of us are not mind readers and the gut feeling (intuition) is not always with us all the time!
Communication is the mighty tool that can loosen or tighten any relationship!
With marriage being a grand repository of feelings, emotions, thoughts and what not, it needs the medium of communication to announce its presence.

And above all .. u need a sound,rational mind to make a rational conversation..
Be it romantic or serious!
Be it contemplating a holiday destination or a divorce!!!
Be it finalizing the dinner menu or swearing at the spouse !!!!
Be it cajoling the unhappy spouse or be it proposing on the 25th anniversary!
Being communicative helps a great deal!!

Communication of my feelings.. yaeh .. I have done that!! But is it sound..? logical..?
It’s for the readers to decide!!!

Passions -- ripened desires?

passion.. a serious desire ??

Of late, i ve been thinking about how serious i can get about desires and strong desires...

when contemplating about life long realtionships such as marriage... certain compromises are always made..
more than often.. small desires can be easily foresaken...
such as the guy giving up his desire to smoke or ve an occasional drink...
but when it comes to passions....
things get a wary turn..!!
so when does a desire turn into a passions...
are passions uncompromisable desires??

beauty with brains ???

What can be more deadly than a beauty with brains..
A ravishing stunner with intellectual genius would make heads turn and would stir the hearts of her male admirers!!
But recently I found another trend..
Guys are falling more for the first aspect...i.e... Beauty...
This is not only limited to males...
Even females... Show this phenomenon...

People somehow or the other...Do not want to be challenged intellectually!
When people are challenged intellectually by a more intellectual person; its definitely not the best of feelings.. and an intention to wipe off such intellectually challenging relationships take root in heart!

So people settle down for a bright face than for a bright brain!!
Now should I use my grey cells.. or should I allow it to rust ..and start powdering my face!!??
Should I turn up to my beautician or to the nearest bookshop??
Dilemmas seem to rule my brain at this moment!
Oops why am I using my mind???

Temptations …

Ever been tempted..?? Ever succumbed to temptation??

Today, I decided to go on a shopping spree!
I had made up my mind to be stringent on my purse!
But alas... it took a few very tempting dresses to make my resolve!

This set me thinking!
What’s this vice that mars my resolve.. ??
Its Temptation!
Now wats temptation??

Temptation is an expression developed out of strong liking ness!
When u like something (or some one..if I mite say so!!), u tend to develop a strong force of attraction that has the escape velocity to speed away from your resolve or grit!
This attraction is so mighty that u SEEMINGLY forget issues that mite ve to face!

Tempatation , I feel is a necessary evil to make the earth go around!
If everything and everyone is gonna be tailor made to your grit ..then where is life!
Life holds its splendor when it throws surprises!
Temptation clearly paves way for them!

So am I rite??
Is temptation in a person really needed today??

An extrovert girl…a guy's friend or spouse???

Often my endless chatter with my friends instigates my thought stream!
Today was no different!

Yesterday, I heard a good friend talk about issues an extrovert girl faces!
Again today, the same topic creeped in my conversation with my buddy gang!
Here goes an insight into my topic for the day!

Gals who mingle well, friendly and wove well with the society are always welcome companions. But this companionship is limited to friendship!
Extrovert females don’t mind speaking to her male friends!
Male friends enjoy their companionship!
But when it comes to the issue of choosing a life partner…. The extrovert gals lose out to introvert ones!
I ve seen lots of introvert gals who with their unspoken words launch a flurry of cupid’s arrows in guy’s heart… and before u understand whats happening…u find a sweet pair!

Not only in love marriages.. even in arranged marriage.. I ve seen the coyer , introvert girls settling soon.. to rephrase in a more crude form…. Being chosen earlier than the extrovert girls!
Y is it the guys are keen on having introvert gals as spouse!
Is it something awfully disgusting in the extrovert gals …if so … y do the guys prefer the company of extrovert girls as friends!

What amazes me..men are able to define what exactly they want in their female friend and in their spouse! And women are more than often ignorant about this!
But the factor of differentiation…”extroverts Vs Introverts” sounds illogical if not dumb!!
Guess I ll leave it here .. ! hopefully new topic should await me tomorrow!

Sound of Silence

Not so long ago, I had a discussion with a friend of mine about Silence.
Silence of mind … The power of silence..

Silence of mind, I was told is the most effective way of concentration and self realization!
I decided to experience it! I started with a positive outlook trying my level best to rule out any pessimistic vibe that came along!
I precisely tried to “practice” Silencing of mind once a day for the past 4 days!
This is how it came out..

First 5 mins…
I sit with the aim of achieving silence..
Outcome……
I found two thought streams.. both of which I channelised towards the Silence!.
...end of 5 minutes

Next 5 mins…..

I aim at establishing the silence..That was seemingly near..
Outcome….
I m at war with a huge wave of questions

End of 10 minutes..

Next 5 mins

I aim removing these questions ..but a thought prevails.. and I decide to face them; answer them all in one go before I proceed any further.

Outcome…
I m busy searching for answers and apprising my deeds
End of 15 mins

Thats it!
My voyage in search for silence has to break for the day!
Next day same thing continues, of course, with a different set of questions!

I had one good thing about this entire experience… the questions that I faced where those I have not bothered or have not answered or did not chose to answer!
It made me think over and again about few issues and resolve few issues!

Well still, if this is the music of silence…
Then the melody of silence is definitely lost in the gory of the lyrics called thoughts!

SELF ESTEEM...VICE or VIRTUE??

Self Esteem…..EGO

I was led to think about this quintessential aspect by one of good friends!
How important is Self esteem?
What is Self esteem??
Is it accepting oneself as he is!
Is it loving oneself for whatever he is!
Is it taking pride in whatever he is!
Well, I always believed Self esteem is having pride in whatever u are!
Well, there is absolutely nothing wrong in being happy and proud about urself..but it largely depends on the persistence on word “self”.
Too much of persistence on the “SELF ESTEEM” factor breeds “EGO”
It requires a balanced head to take on Self Esteem and wipe out EGO.
But Ego, once rooted, is hard to remove!
Ego invariably is the cause for almost all problems!
With such a potential risk at hand, is it viable sustain a degree of SELF ESTEEM!
Indirectly is not out attachment to the word “SELF ESTEEM” causing the problems!

Well in the same tone..
Why should I be so bothered about what every other person I meet thinks about me.
Why am I so conscious about what others think about me rather than what I think about myself!
Is the child in me still learning the way of the world?
I always believed humility is the best virtue. Today I heard humility plus Self Esteem is the best way to lead life!

Maybe I was wrong all these days!
Maybe I must nurture self Esteem to a greater degree!!
But am I mature enough to evade EGO???

Spirituality and Religion!!

Religion and Spirutuality are they different ??
I recently faced a question in a public discussion
regarding the ritualistic worship that most of us do!
it set me thinking..
Be it any religion.. why are ve so particular abt the rituals.. be it The Sunday mass,namaz or sandya vandanam! y is it we are consicous abt these rituals..
are rituals the shortest way to the Supreme...
well i truely feel.. any religion dictates the way of life.. it merely uphold as to how life can be righteously tread! these rituals are a few disciplinary measures flavoured with the essence of Faith!i dnt mean to say that the flavour is here to instill fear!! but its here to instill habit!
so how can the Supreme be realised!

Words Fail!!!

For a person who is candid and communicative..its easy expressing his thoughts ! thoughts,an expression of heart, feeling and soul, finds its shape in words!! but .. what about those who are introverts!! i started thinking about this issue... when i confronted a friend who was madly in love wih a girl but could hardly express it! i told him a number of times to go ahead and propse his love!! but his courage failed!! i mean.. i shouldnt use the word Failed... because he hardly tried speeling his thoughts aloud!!
its not jus him... mostof us turn introverts in certain situations! even the most communicative of us .. find it difficult expressing our thoughts..often when its most needed!! why is this happening??
maybe... when we are still not clear in our thoughts..our words get muffled and finally nothing reaches the other person!
wat ever its...its not gna help either anyone!! oops... y are my words failing me now!!!!

THE ULTIMATE INDIAN MARRIAGE

THE ULTIMATE INDIAN MARRIAGE

For a girl.. it beings the day her college life with the last day of her college life!!

Her mom’s sis quips..’ maybe we should start groom hunting now!!”
Her parents are brainwashed and are made to take the gal’s horoscope to the astrologer!!
After a series of calculations... the astrologer would predict the position of Saturn. GURU..!!
And thence would begin the search ..Which would even put google to shame!!?
The girl’s horoscope would be circulated amongst relatives…. Thanks to email –literate Indian parents; the horoscopes fly across the seas, over the mountains to reach a relative!!

Once the groom hunt begins... The entire vocabulary of the household changes…

The short listed grooms are mostly identified through their queer nicknames..

IIT paiyyan ….a guy who graduated from IIT
Thivaiyaaru paiyyan.. a guy with Thivaiyaaru as native
Rohini natchram paiiyan
Anda gothram inda gothram….vathima …vadaamaa… .
Jadakam
Sevva dossham
Tamil matrimony.com
Shaadi.com


Gosh…. The vocabulary is very very exhaustive!!

The girl initially makes her wish list and disappears. Once the parents decide on the intial short listed potential grooms, she makes an entry to make her final top 5!!
Before this is the very diplomatic move called “Pics Exchange”. Very ceremoniously, the parents of both the guy and the girl exchange the photos of their child!
The choice of the photo varies from casual (at home attire ) to formal ( aka Raymond) to gorgeous (a la Maduri Dixit) snaps!

I still wonder what people find out in photos.

Well … if found acceptable! ; then the alliance proceeds !
Else … “Has the other gal sent her pics!!! ..Lemme check the mail!!” attitude prevails!!!

WHY DO U DO THIS TO ME??


I guess this is the sentence is the root of many arguments

Arguments between teenaged children and their parents..Argument between lovers … arguments between husband and wives.. Argument between ur manager and u!!

Each of us need a degree of importance attached to us. More often we want this degree of importance to be explicit. Latent respect / regard doesn’t serve the purpose today !!

I have seen relationships go sour because of the lack of exhibiting one’s love!!

I this world of attractive advertisements… even the most delicate and closest of relationship need EXPLICIT EXHIBITION of affection.
I wonder as to why…..public exhibition of affection has become pivotal in the relationships of heart!!

The only reply I gather is that…. It’s a way of reassuring each other of the love between them!
I recently heard a close friend of mine confide that he broke away with his sweet heart just because he was unable to tell her how much he still loved her!!! And that he did not want her to keep yearning for his coaxy words !

I was just dumbstruck… well, I think.. This relationship should mature with time and the adversities it faces!!
Breaking apart for silly reasons like “ degree of importance “ factor ..Actually mitigates the worth of going further in that relationship!

So next time u ask ur beloved one “ WHY do u do this to me?? ?? “ ..kindly think .. is the havoc really needed!!

DUETS Vs DUELS




I happen to meet two of my batch mates from college today. After the regular Vetti kadais ...We got talking about love, lovers etc..


The first thing I asked my friends-both of them are commited ,was “do u miss ur guys ?“ bang came their reply …. “nowazz,, y would I miss him ? What if I don’t see him every other day! I do talk with him!! So no missing him business!!”

my conclusion :: Remove the song “ evano oruvan vaasikiraam…” from Alaipaayuthae..


The next question…

“Do u fight?? Who starts the fight?? “

their reply … “we fight .. we fight like dogs!! All language rules are grounded!! “
my other friend who was celebrating her 4 anniversary said …. “the first month was the only period sans war…!! Duels were more than duets!! “

my conclusion :: duels were more than duets!!

The question::
“When do your guys get angry???”

Their reply:: “ whenever they want .. For whatever they want!!”
They did explain …
Every time..The fourth ring from their guy goes unanswered……a fight begins~ demanding the reason for delay!!!
Every time… the mobile is switched off…..a fight begins demanding the reason for that
Every time u say “ I m held up with an important work ….a fight begins reasoning whether he isn’t important
Every time .. u say “dad asked me to get home early !”….a fight begins!!

The other reasons they voiced seemed out of the world…I jus started wondering .. if they were in love with a male over 21 ….or whether a toddler around 2.1

Finally ….. I learnt…love laughs for a month….smiles for the next six months… goes grin throughout the following year..
And after a year …. U just need to search for the smile ….!! Its back to business!!


Ultimately:

My friends conclusion::: “ SUHA… NEE MOVIES PAATHU ROMBA INFLUENCE AAGIRKAAA!! AVOID SEEING ROMANTIC MOVIES IF U WANT TO GETOFF THE FILMY IMAGE AND WANNA C THE REAL ONE !“

WILL GEMINIANS EVEN LEARN TO GET COMMITED ??

Born on june 5th, I fall under the sunsign of Gemini..the Air sign!

Geminans are utterly whimsical nd fickle ..known to be a fun package
They are very good company!
Not to forget ..they re one of the biggest flirts next only to themselves!

I ve every trait of it.. And it reflects in me…..
But there is one miserable trait I love to change

Gemini’s never get easily committed to anything... be it men, art, books whatever..!
Their ever wandering mind...strains when forced to remain stable!!

I love art …art of any form has a patron in me…
my short lived stint with Bhartnatym, music , poetry, writing , linguistics are all reflections of the Gemini in me.
True to the Jill of all trades label…. I went places not exactly with my talent but for learning them!!

Fortunately with parents ready to spend upon my interests I indeed got trained from few of the best teachers … slowly but steadily I was getting noticed for my talents!

So far so good… the trouble arose with the sustenance of the interest!
The interest seemed to wane from its shining full moon glory to nothingness…
The rate of waning depended more on my mood rather than on the complexity of the art form or time! Soon ..i started fishing out reasons to bunk classes…reasons to escape practicing at home …slowly ..The inclination to learn an art bent its head!!
Jus the inclination to master the art had disappeared.. Not the love for the art form!!!

Every now and then..It did sprout up! But I decided not to take the gamble...
I m still awaiting for the day.. I feel….. I can take up lessons ...Lessons to its completion!!
coomitmnt holds the key to this!!
Commitment …….. Happens when u are ready to do anything! Anything encompasses everything from liking to sacrifices!!

Well... I m being so inconsistent in my commitment quotient.. I wonder... What my stand would be in larger emotional commitments awaiting me in my life!!!
Will my good Stars drop in a bit of sense in me…!???

Hey wait… I can no longer commit myself to the topic… here comes the next thought……………….

Well …so why am I linking it to the sun signs……?? What an easy way to justify oneself!!! Do I smell an Attitude issue here??

Next thought……”lemme make a cup of hot coffee. or kaapi !