Friday, April 13, 2007

Thinking about thoughts!

The POST is abt now PARTICULAR Topic... its true blue arbit ramblings!!

Be it the mosquito Coil on face effect or Wordsworth'ish Daffodils effect ..Thinking abt past and abt things that are beyond repair has always been a habit with homosapiens -Phylum vertebrata.
Well.. its so happened that i belong to the same phylum and hence exhibit the traits of the same.... the post below Elucidates the same.!

Thoughts that Ate the Travel Time Today! ( Mosquito COIL Swirls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
*************************************************************************************
How should one react when someone acts too smart and tries to hurt to you.
Though i belive its the other person's wish to try to be rude to one... to be hurt or not is entirely the individual's disposition. To Ignore, smile away rude comments always always don't help or do they?
*************************************************************************************
Life is all about GETTING USED TO...! True....but can you get used to everything life offers you... Isnt life not about figuring out the options and chances oneself?
*************************************************************************************
Relationships arise out of chemistry between the pairs but it changes the physics that they have with others. Have had lot of chances to observe the attitude of people before and after they commited into Relationship. Well... its understandable that the folks are in the hyper enthu phase to know each other well ,get the relationship going strong and hence land up showering all their attention and time on each other. A very collegish attitude of SHE IS MY GAL sets in!
Why even the seemingly mature ones showcase this. Well,,a small observation...Public display is perhaps also a mature manifestation of SHE IS MY GAL or HE IS MINE attitude!
Whatever it .. IT IS SICK!
*************************************************************************************
Last but not the least of my pointless ponder...How do i wish the folks tomorrow..

HAPPY TAMIL NEW YEAR Day
TAMIZH Putaandu nal vazthukal
Happy TAMIZH New Year day
illa verum GUdmorningaa .. illa Summa irundaalae Vidunjudumaa?
***********************************************************************************

GOD BLESS MY READERS!!


Cheers
Push!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Old.Bold..Cold Attitude!

Talk of getogethers, there happens a jambooree of Relatives. Very Innocent Kiddos to ripe 80 year old maaamis. Having been a such a fun recently, lot of things ran across my mind forcing me to pen them here!

The attitude of the youngsters towards elders struck me hard. I m no Miss.PATIENT, MISS.TOLERANT types but I always insist on a quality called ENDURANCE. Elders predominantly fall into three categories: they are either too conservative to accept our views or too rigid with theirs or they are open to our ideas.. but one can never take them for granted , you would never know how they would react!
I m not being judgemental about the beloved PAATI THAATAs at our home! They are truely a treasure! But is our attitude conveying the message that we Value them.
For once, Not everything could be understood implicitly, there are few things that have to be told and Elders need things to be told to them.
They could be annoying or at times even irritating but believe me more patient our approach is, more learnings will happen from their end.
I m going to visit a OLD AGE home today. I m doing this against my policy of NEVER TO ENCOURAGE OLD AGE HOMES... but today i feeel, they need a patient ear and may be one or two considerate words!! Even now I start half heartedly....I just hope i have a peaceful sleep tonight!

(This is the only Post in this blog where i have literally lamented my first PERSONAL Thoughts! Oooops... i need an Outlet ( N' Blog serves the purpose) and so do the countless old ppl in the home ( N' hope i serve the purpose today!) ... I just realised it and i m heading there!! )



cheers
Push!

Friday, March 30, 2007

Chemistry of relationships!!

Statuatory Warning: Here comes another post on relationships….!


Few fall in love in the FIRST SIGHT ( phew.. a biological Reaction(#1) fastened by CATALYST called LOOKS/APPEARANCE)
Few fall in love gradually ( A reaction (#2) that happens at OPTIMUM CONDITIONS)
Few start of as FRIENDSHIP and turn it to a RELATIONSHIP( A reaction (# 3) that got misled!!)
Or an arranged agreement to fall I love (a planned reaction (#4) with tons of catalysts, with proper conditions set!!)

Well, I don’t have a big opinion on the chemical Reaction #1.
Relationships be it friendship or marital ones has to be borne over a period of time. Faith and trust cannot be built over night is what I strongly believe.
Reaction #2, is relatively better. But there is one thing that might upset the reaction. Courtship is a tricky period wherein it’s the GOODNESS that comes out in full form.
The element of vice be it as trivial as quick temper or social drinking is subconsciously either not revealed by the person or subconsciously not registered by the other person.
Courtship again has to mature over sometime.. But unfortunately the trend is that people either get bored of each other soon or they PERSON of INTEREST changes with the clock ticks!
Reaction #3, Mixing Friendship and relationship….this is one tricky subject to analyze. Given the fact the FRIENDS would know each other inside out …I have somehow not patronized the idea of mixing relationships.
Every relationship should be clearly demarcated.
Friendship across sexes means the physical attraction factor has been nullified. This is presume is the reason why FRIENDSHIP is given special status.
Now, turning such a pure sentiment into a RELATIONSHIP means contaminating it with the CARNAL Factor.

The worst part of the this reaction is that… even if there is just friendship and clean friendship, people around tend to hallucinate a lot and hence conjure a reaction when there is actually nothing brewing.
It takes in lot of maturity to handle a crisis like this, wherein FRIENDSHIP is at stake for the people around!

More so, One who has a picture perfect vision on the kind of person he or she wants could be pretty sure hit in REACTION #3. But unfortunately most of us do not strike with a consistent opinion. As the rule says, Change is the only thing that never changes.


That leaves you with Reaction #4, you really need not have a “MY IDEAL PICTURE” vision. Rather a vague , gazy , CIRCA 1700 picture would serve the purpose !
The whole beauty of arranged marriage lies in the fact that you start with the belief that its going to work out. And this belief metamorphosis into TRUST and faith..



Been a long post….

I believe.. I m gona come back soon with another post…on relationships obviously!!!!


Cheers
Suha!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Prior 2 Priorities

Be it matrimony, be it just shopping, be it starting early from work, there is one word that drives world.. a simple ten lettered word " Priorities".
I wonder what amount of thinking goes behind defining the Priorities.
Defining priorities by itself is a priority.
Now, wat makes me talk abt priorities....Its just this, a friend happened compose a 60 questions sheet which he feels covers all the topics which are important to him., lest he misses something while conversing with a potential suitor.
I was thoroughly amused and angry when i saw that questionnaire.
It makes no sense in making a person sit through with a paper and fill in the details as if its just another exam.
Having said this, not all ppl are vocal and confidant enough to voice their thoughts, so this questionnaire might just be an ice breaker.
One thing of all impressed me mightly, the person who composed this has pumped in ample energy, good will, intention and time to understand his priorities and order them.

Though, i dont approve of the Questionnaire exchange method, I am happy ppl have started understanding their WANTS. For matrimony is one topic wherein you must be clear about the difference between your expectations and wants!

Now if you had expected a neat decent post... i m sorry... and yeah! if you want to comment-- I would just luv to know your view...



cheers

Push!

Friday, March 02, 2007

Of Life, deadlines and “dead” ”lions??”

Got thinking when I read a post by a fellow blogger on the suicide of a small gal. What is life after all, if its gonna be so easy to give up!!

When even habits rather Obsessions which we pick up after a good 10years after the first wink are hard to give up, I wonder how people easily give up their right to exist.!

Who on earth does not have disappointments with life!

Some have it small, Some have it big…

But things called Deadlines and money drive the life!

Be it the tenure in mom’s womb or the warmth of parents’ lap… everything comes with a deadline. By the age of 3 years, the warmth of the lap has to be forsaken to the comfort of bed, then comes the ever imposing educational deadlines..!!!

When every thing in life is so damn time defined…. I wonder if I should call the ppl who commit suicide dead chickens or dead lions who bravely evaded the DEADLINES!!

Confused huh! That’s what I m now!! Thanks to the FEVER!


Cheers
Push!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Fever Fiesta


When you are down with soaring temperature, an absolutely sick head and a tongue that finds everything bitter....all you do is swallow the pills and sleep!
but suddenly u wake n smell the aroma of hot molaga bhajji ....! wat do u do!!
mom refuses to make one...neither can u escape to the corner shop for bhajji!!
All that you can do is wait patiently for the guest to leave and then head to the marina for smacking bhajji feast!!


cheers
pushkala

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Of Likes, Expectations and Ofcourse Life!!

A month long hiatus from Blogging was broken by an inspiring conversation i has with one my buddies!
She having Just got into an ARRANGED Commitment had loads to share! We just got talking how Arranged and Acceptable the whole process of Arranged marriage is.
We hit upon the PIE formula...
Physical, Intellectual and Emotional Equation, with the order of importance being EIP.

The beauty of Indian Arranged Marriage System is the neatness with which it executes the Singledom. Be it the guy or the gal, they gracefully lose the goodness of Singledom and venture into the world of their own.

Least Important ones first..

Physical Equation: You might call it unworthy and cheap to look into one's external appearance.
But there is more it, is what i heard. The Face is the index of mind. Period.
I was reminded of a Reader's Digest Article that elucidated the some 17 steps for finding a relationship that lasts longer.
If i m not wrong, they did cite Appearance factor. Its more to do with how you can mentally attach yourself to someone who you are comfortable with.
Intellectual: Well, there is nothing as effective as conversation. Be it a conversation through the language of words or the language of Silence.
A conversation (not an Argument!!!!!!!!!!!) That keeps the people involved is a sign of companionship. Be it the reciprocation of ideas (views) or the openness’ in accepting things or the assertiveness in stressing things or the topic itself; the comfort level each other possess is of prime importance
Emotional: To Emote is one of the signs of Life is any form of Living being.
The Emotional Equation is The deciding factor for any relationship. Hidden behind those Spoken and Unspoken words is an Emotion that is the TRUE SELF of the person. It is this Emotional Quotient that tries to come out through the Gestures, Words, Silences, Smilies, Gifts and what not.
More than often, we are carried away by these mediums of expression that we forget to compliment the emotion. Acknowledging each other's emotion is a sure sign of the longitivity of the relationship..

Well; for all these aspects to hit the bulls eye, there are three other factors that must be kept in mind ,
EXPECTATIONS : Of all the 1001 likes a person mite have in his life, there could a few of them that he would Expect from his Companion.. ! So, its all the more important to know thyself before one might venture looking for COMPANION.

DESTINY: Being a Hindu by faith, I seriously couldn’t wrap this post without the mention of the DIVINITY. For all that’s said here, HE holds the WAND that would lead one on the right path.



OOOPSS... been a long post... be it this post or the process of Likes, Expectations and Of course LIFE is worth every moment that’s spent.

Cheers!
Suha

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Being indefinitely definitely Differently indifferent!

When caught in position when reality is so damn cruel that neither can u tell the world that u a re truly not comfortable nor does your “You” permit you to show the dejection; the only other way that charms the situation out is being truly differently indifferent!

When words don’t suit the situation, indifference makes its presence. I wonder if it ever solves the problem.

Its totally a different thing if someone decides not to solve a problem. Indifference is a subtle reflection of a person who wants temporary relief from the problem or rather just wants to escape from the situation for that moment.

Having said this, indifference is sometimes a worthy weapon. A weapon which is effective because no words are poured out and more than often its up to the other person to guess there is something wrong with the person who is being indifferent. This would induce a bit introspection, it’s a rather a crude cold way of saying “I m pissed off”.

But what if pople never get the “I m Indifferent Signal”.. Nothing …! Well yeah that’s exactly what happens most of time. You get nothing out of the situation!

If its not you best mush or your gang with whom you are being “ differently Indiffernt” then for sure the difference is not gonna be recognized. You would end up being gloomy and that’s it!

Now I am confused, when should I let my words take charge and when should I make the Indifference my Arsenal?

Ahem.. If u folks are wondering why on earth I cam up with this different post on indifference, well…. I just had to face one such situation recently wherein for once I lost my cool and had to feature indifference written across my face..!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Compromises!

Life is always abt best compromises!
I started wondering.. how is it two people with total different nature knot into a relationship and get going for a long time.. (long time to be read “life time”!)

Again Relationships includes friendship, the inner circle of relatives with whom one tends to live his life out!
Misunderstandings do happen, fights do break out…. But everything vanishes out like thin smoke. Smoke because, its existence is not wipe out but its just dissolved (present in particulate form!) in bigger picture called LIFE.
The small differences are converted into Compromises; the small fights are considered silly trivial tussles.
How is it we choose the right people for making life wonderful. Often compromises outgrow the basic interests we have.. When this is the case the choice of person becomes the ultimate question.
The problem with the process of choosing the right person is that, one will know the effectiveness of the choice long after he chooses and spend a considerable time of his LIFETIME with that person. By then, it is often too late and it becomes the time for the BEST Compromises to cast its entry into the Stage.
Or rather, it is this way, the considerable time spent with his choice changes his attitude and “best compromises” could be replaced by “changes for the better”…!
Whatever it is … as long as her is enjoying his life (after we all have only one life time to live!), Compromise or change shouldn’t be a big issue!

If you are wondering what kindled such a post in my blog after a long time… well then…the scores of Shashhibdhapoorthi (60th bday of couples) and 25th wedding anniversary party invites are the reason!
Well…of course it their time to celebrate and let the world know they have made the best compromises !! Don’t they?

Saturday, August 12, 2006

The Factor!

He has always topped the Medical tests, the surgical procedures were 80% sure shot success, but this was proving to be tough! He was trying hard to stop the bleeding but alas nothing could be done. He finally gave up… only one though raced up his thoughts….”Why did they bring him late! “

She was waiting outside the operation theatre. This has turned out to be the reality that has outplayed her harshest of nightmares. With teary eyes, she waited.. a wait that seem to be dragging. Only one thought was going on in her mind….. Why on earth did he drive so hastily?

She was playfully eyeing the new water bottle the churby guy sitting next her had brought. She wanted a similar turtle shaped water bottle which also doubles up as a snack box. She made a mental note of the box. After all, she has to remind her mom to get her a similar one for the next term. The teacher cleared her voiced and asked the students to submit their Homework notebooks. She was dumb struck. She hadn’t completed the Homework! Only one thought raced her thoughts,

‘Why did I not complete the work?

He was looking at the monitor. His eyes had not blinked once in the past three minutes. They were dry…so was his face. He is trying hard to eat from a CODE plate of his colleague. His colleague hasn’t turned up and now he doesn’t have a option but to try to understand the Code in bits and pieces. After all, their project is all set for a mighty client run …when this unprecedented bug announced this bug..

Only one thing was hitting him hard….

“Why is it all bad things happen together..? what will I say to big heads waiting to prowl…heading a contingency team is tuff ask… what will I tell them?!”

Well, the GCF (Greatest Common Factor) of the replies of all the characters mentioned above is “Time”.

Be it the doctor who frowns upon the lost life just because of the “time” delay in getting the patient to the medical procedure, or the wife who is now wondering at the hasty driving of her husband who was apparently running short of “Time” , or the bubbly kid who couldn’t do her homework just because she did not have “time” or the Busy professional who is all tied up with work forgetting even to blink just because he hardly has “time” to Blink.

How what is time?

A bit of googling takes me to lot of stuff Einstein and Newton wrote, said or claimed and among such things, there is a phrase that captures my attention.. “certain system of relations”!

Time is nothing but meager system of relations. Now if you ask me relation of what? All I can say is a system of intentions and convictions rather than absurd words like animate and inanimate entities.

It’s all a matter of intention, but yeah … its not just your intention (good) that would get the right thing happen in the right “time” but rather it’s the product of the right intention of all the people directly or indirectly or even remotely associated with you.

Am I killing your time… sorry let me get my intentions right… here ends the post!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Castle Errrr... Cafetaria! I built!

Castle Errrr... Cafetaria of Gibberish!

Ornithologists fascinated me. They could very patiently watch the winged dwellers of this blue green planet. It could involve hours and hours of patient wait; a wait that demands eyes behind binos staring at the sky, turning towards every hustle in the tree; keeping ears all tuned up to the birds’ songs.
Envision a similar bird watching ORDEAL, err.. though birds of totally different kind. They belong the phylum Vertebrata, class homo sapiens (humble reminiscent of the ninth standard biology classes! Sorry if found incorrect! ).
Well cafeterias dotting the city are the ideal paradise to observe these birds.
Attempted below is a humble Guide to this unique bird watching.

CAUTION: this post is the result of a very bad outing I had with my friends recently. There was nothing much I could do other than look around and observe people!

For people who did not get the hidden message in the above line.. here comes the more blunt message:
I ain’t of the habit of prying the privacy of people around, just that I went of a casual glimpsing of the people around and it so happened that I has to many birds around in the cafeteria!

1) Choice of day/time: Avoid National holidays and other festive occasions. The best day to watch these birds at their best would be on Saturdays( avoid second Saturdays though!), Friday evenings, Wednesday afternoon, sometimes even Monday mornings!!
2) Tools needed: It doesn’t need binos all that you need to do is just keep your eyes wide open; what you will get is a lesson fit enough to write a thesis on!

Foreword:

Choose the corner table which provides unhindered view of the people in the cafeteria , outside cafeteria.
Make sure you don’t dress up too well to turn heads towards you.. Well if heads still turn …don’t worry… Divinity wants it that way.!
The main skill you ned to develop in this bird watching is the Technique of guessing the mood with the body language.
People : here goes my next word of caution .. all the observations are made with respect to Chennai- a considerably not so Stylish and hype city. !
First make a casual note on all the available birds around you. For starters, its better to fix up a chosen bird and observe the traits!

The Plot:
There were a number of pairs there. Most of them were there with their gang of friends! The usual teasing each other was happening. Nothing worthy of following!
Soon, the prized catch arrived.
A very cheerful guy complete with a mobile in his hands and a coolers. A gal followed him and it seemed as though she was making every effort to look pained and sullen! They only table that was available was the one beside mine. They gleefully occupied it!! Well its up to the reader to conclude who was more gleeful.

I built my expectation list, thanks to Manirathnam, Balachander and their directorial fraternity, my mind was scanning all the cafeteria scenes right from the black and while movies to the Eastman Color ones , to the very very memorable Mouna Ragam(a Tamil movie) to the recent Madhavan movie!
(Man!!! how I wish my memory had been so helpful in my Exams!!!).

Thanks to the very dumb service in that cafeteria, I has al l the time under the son to observe them!

Hardly a word was spoken, they just sat there looking at the menu card…. OMG.. I atleast expected a “Drowned in Each others Eyes” kinda stuff!
It turned out to be a melodrama , no dialogue no giggles. For full 30 minutes, she was busy looking at the menu , searching her hand bag. He was carried away with his mobile phone.
The only audible words that my ever so sharp ears could get were “what shall we order!” .They sat there without speaking a word for half an hour and then left. He took his bike and she left in her scooty.
Now began the mighty part, the Castle of Assumptions!

Wondering as to why on earth, will they come to a restaurant and spend money for keeping mum.!
Thinking ( A process I undertake very rarely – a “Pushkala –Grey Cell Initiative”! )

After Word:
Now, why will I go to a restaurant with my friends and start prying over next table! To make things stink more, why at all would I write about this senseless stuff in my blog!!
Well.. I can sense ur assumptions,,, wait I ain’t cranky .. Just that my idle mind was waiting for something to chew on!

Castle crashed!
Gibberish Silenced!


Cheeers
Suha

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Tussle amongst thoughts!!

She was feeling damn heavy. She has never been through such turmoil.
Kudos to her decisiveness; she has never trod on the road to remorse. But today, she felt the she would be sooner than later running towards remorse; a hasty run to set things right.

The same girl who was jumping around until an hour and half before was immersed in scores and scores of conflicting thoughts.
Nay she wasn’t alone!
She was surrounded by two off her close friends and she was very effectively listening to their animated conversation. But lo! Every word uttered at the coffee table seemed to take her to totally different world. It seemed to bring back the memories that she has very carefully chosen to forget albeit unsuccessfully. She feigned the pain with a smile, a big broad smile (Heaven had blessed her with a natural Camouflage).

The pain began to show on her face and her friends did notice the uneasiness to such a extent that it became the topic of discussion. She tried to give them a damn. The antagonistic voice in her grew louder and louder.

A tough fight waged within her.
A war against her personal conviction and a very inviting prospect waiting for her consent.

What will I tell his eager face. Am I gonna be tongue-tied?

She gave up. She didn’t want to trouble her grey cells much! After all, she is an ordinary mortal.

She yielded to the passion….. Reached out to the menu card , looked for the waiter… his expectant eyes were not less curious than those of a father awaiting the birth of his child outside the maternity room.
With a gulp in my throat, She said..”Get me a CHESSE PIZZA!!!


Who would like to think of thinning down when you are freaking out with your friends in a Pizza Corner?
muhahhahhahhhahha!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Friendship forwarded!

Monday morning often finds us staring at the loads and loads of mails….. Mail subject lines range from "rejoice its Friday"… "Happy weekend" to "Monday morning again!!!".
Well no regrets, a few of those mails are really worth looking into. It so happened that this weekend I ran into one of my friends with whom I had almost lost touch but for those forwarded mails he keeps sending me.
He seemed to zero on the point that he has never lost touch with his folks, he keeps sending mails (read forwards!). As I reminded him of staying in touch, he very coolly replied, " I m in touch with you, yaar, I send u mails every day!"
Staying in touch for that gentleman means Sardar jokes, puns on Bush, Astrological predictions, pics from Nat Geo, facts about India and not to forget those John Abraham, Aishwarya Rai pics!
Isn't that funny?
Where are those personal mails?
This set my grey cells (amazingly low in number!!) think (an honest attempt, though!).
Even a one liner personal mail would be more effective than a flash-thought provoking words-never seen before pics combined forward.
The forwards can help pick up a long lost thread with a person, but shouldn't it be complimented with a personal mail? I have been in a couple of situations wherein I have got a dozen to two mails from a couple of my folks who I can hardly relate to. I can see them sending me all crazy forwards, but I am not able to pick up a thread of familiarity with them!

Fine, let's move to the compromise mood. If a forwarded mail is their way of sustaining a relationship, agreed! But that at least it could be peppered with a personal flavor.
I wonder what the maximum size of a mail distribution list is. People BCC the intended recipients! I am not doing any Ego Resurrection by searching for my name in the mail header! Rather it's too obvious with an almost blank TO and CC holders! So this gesture of friendship is multicasted to dozens of his friends. The good thing being the sender was reminded to add me to that list.

I can draw two contradictory lines from this observation… people mend technology to suit their needs, after all, every time we get a forward, it is indeed an indicator of the clean intend to stay connected. On the flip side….. is it helping the relationship in any weird manner? When the danger of misunderstanding and broken rather forgotten relationships lurking around, is this forwarded friendship attitude admissible!

My inbox says it full!!! Hmmm!! J ! well what do think I m thinking??!

Well nothing big, looking out for impressive forwards to send them across to u guys! J


Cheers
Pushkala Pattabhiraman

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

As U Like It (This)

This blog is the result of list of conversations I have been having with people who I know on “ I know who he is” basis.

Given my talkative nature ( a true blue Geminian that I m ), I garnish my gibberish on almost every other prey I hit. This time for a difference, I decided to understand the prey better. Well… (lemme not give you the National Geographic channel effect….)

I just thought I will let people steer the conversation and let me run with their flow.

There was one strain that was common across my preys ( err ..! Sorry for that effect again). I LIKE .. I HATE .. U LIKE ..!

What I found interesting in these conversations is people are more than eager to let the world know what they want. By doing this, they successfully save time, remove any scope of misconceptions. (Be it as simple as watching HP together and later realizing how tough it had been for your friend!!)

But on the other hand, I find this message too “Listen boss, this is what I like; if its going to be something else…! Well a big Sorry!”

Though the message is loud and clear, I bit of Compulsive ego also hangs loose on such statement. I using the word “Compulsive Ego” because it’s being brought into the picture purposely (serves cosmetic purpose though!).

The next few minutes of conversations goes about “ I LIKE WAT YOU HATE, U LIKE WAT I HATE” kinda stuff!

Well……. All said and done..Oops.. All heard and written, its high time I hit back to my original form…Talk … Talk and Talk!

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Relationships!!!!!

It is conceived, nurtured with bare … it is born, again nurtured, taken care of, it grows, matures, and after some time becomes fit enough to tackle any problem that comes by.

I m not writing about the human cycle but about another factor that has its hold on each of us—Relationship!

Most of us treat relationships, professional, personal or even acquaintances as plug play components to life. The irony is none of the relationships come so easily. For a healthy baby, even a mother has to develop a bond with the baby in her womb. When such is a scenario how can one expect to have a very smooth start off for relationships that involve two different personalities?

So what of all is this “Relationship”? Is it an emotion? Nay! Love is an emotion and to e in love with one another constitutes a relationship.

I believe, Relationship is like the birth of a Child. Just like every child is the outcome of the darkest secret of Nature, every relationship is the child of emotions. These emotions could either be from both the people involved in the relationship (a relationship mutually nurtured) spring from a single heart towards the other.

The child is grown with lots of love and affection. Care is taken to ensure nothing affects the child. The occasional fever the child gets is comparable to the occasional skirmishes any relationship faces. The fever indicates that the anti bodies are at action. This indication can either be supplemented by external antibodies so as to enable the system to spring to normal soon or could be left uncared and hence would prove fatal.

So, how do I justify the relationships that got badly hit by the strongest of skirmishes??

Simple, every relationship is born with the hope that it would be alive for a long time (its just like a mother who wants all her children to have a healthy, long life).

But it takes a beating when a feverish system either rejects all external medicine that’s provided or the medicine provided itself is wrong.

So how effectively should I sustain a relationship? Well, the only answer I can think of is a periodic introspection into the needs of the relationship. We get so engrossed in the ‘n’ number of relationships that our attention is bifurcated amongst them.

Every now and then we should try to look at the places were things could be patched up and reworked so as to avoid a pitfall there.

I find a relationship developing here... That of a blogger and her blog reader. And the immediate introspection tells me that I should stop this post here... Lest you find it a cut throat!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Mediocre misery

Every mortal wants to succeed. Though the definitions off success might vary, Success remains the most cherished word (feeling, emotion) the human mind could comprehend.
I m least interested to write about Success now, nor about the other extreme called failure. But what caught my attention is the feeling and consequence of being caught between Success and Failure.
Success hogs limelight in every right sense. Failure too gets its chance of attraction. Success (or the good) gets applauded for being Successful whereas Failure (or the bad)is given chance to reach out to the people.
Pathetically forgotten are the folks held in between the good and bad.
Neither are the good enough to be chosen nor are they bad enough to be stoned. Caught in a very precarious position, they are comfortably forgotten.

The City with “The Best” label hogs the attention and gets the next big infra done and hence is benefited.
The city with “The Worst” label also hogs the attention and hence gets the next big
Package for Betterment and hence is also benefited.

The child who gets the first rank gets applauded in his Parent Teacher Meet and is encouraged to aim high. The child with the least mark gets badly reprimanded and hence is forced to strive hard. In both cases, benefits galore.

Lost in between the two ends are those mediocre ones; who either face the Cold shoulder they have been served with and scale the heights or lose the morale and slide back or they continue to live it as a way of life and resign to the agony of being mediocre.

Knowledge is the most important factor, some get it soon, some strive hard to get it and there are few others who are struck half way in the process.
Why is it we ignore the last sect of people often.
Why is it we recognize the best (inclusive of better, good) or the worst (inclusive of worse, bad)?
Does it send out a signal, if cant reach the pinnacle don’t worry go for the roots!!!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

PERVERT THOUGHTS

Gone are the days when songs, storyline of a movie made headlines. These days its their

Double meaning, triple meaning dialogues that capture the Fame spot. Well, the fame spot doesn’t always spell success; more than often the movie gets badly hit due to the same ‘Fame’ Factor.

These days, almost every other movie that gets released has acquired this Fame. I thoroughly accept the fact that most of these movies contain explicit contents but there a quiet a few movies that abstain from presenting such candid exhibition of “Censorable Contents”. Here comes the credibility of Human mind! The X Ray’ish tendency of human mind easily understands the “explicit contents” but also goes out of way to skin the gibberish to ravel rather discover or at times invent “Contents worth Censorable”.

Moving away from movies, even the real life scenario throws many occasions wherein we end up deciphering meanings (intentions) from an otherwise simple unintentional statement. The outcome of this art of decryption of intention brings in trouble and tension.

Why is this evolution of pervert thought process happening?

Why is it we always tend to look in for “that Inner Meaning” however simple the explicit meaning might be?

If your answer delves around “gauging the other person diplomatically”; then why is it we are not diplomatic enough to streamline our thoughts. Diplomacy begins with oneself. One should try being honest to ones thoughts rather than letting it get conceived through misconceptions. Miscarriages in pregnancy and Misconceptions in Thoughts both are painful because both last in us for a long time before we realize it’s gone! We could at least try not to be pervert in thinking which would go long way in building and helping relationships last longer.

Wonder, what you people expected the blog to contain when you read the title “PERVERT THOUGHTS!”?? Some cranky, dappled, shady, mottled, piebald stuff?? OMG... I M BEING A PERVERT!!!!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Intentions take time turning into Initiatives

Why is it people fail to understand the motive of a small initiative. Be it the a small gesture of driving a social awareness campaign for Cancer or be it corporate gesture of Celebrating with your team or a more emotional gesture of telling your love that U do Love him/her!

Initiatives are often not accepted with an open mind. People are either too numb to realize the effort it takes for a person to take an initiative or they simply just don’t care!
Had it not been for newer initiatives’ (of course braving the hard slaps others give on it!) there wouldn’t have been any change in our lifestyle!

Looking at the big picture, the most successful people are those who have dared to make a change. The people for dare to believe and practice RULES and PROTOCOLS are for breaking and hence paving better ones. Be it the simple sun goes around the earth or earth goes round the sun fundae and the ruckus it created. It needs lots of courage to move away from the conventional thinking mode and voice a different tone altogether.

i wonder most of us .. even with the brightest of ideas within us, hesitate to take one brave move that could change the face of the earth.

It might mean taking a tight slap on face but would have a greater impact on the world than what fingers would make on the face!

Friday, March 10, 2006

“Quality” time

Most married folks working with me often use this phrase “Quality Time”. They are upset because they are not able to 'Spend' Quality Time for their spouse, children and more so for themselves.

More than often, we find marital relationships crumbling under the pressure of work, Children complaining about their busy schedule of their parents, friends losing track of each other when their presence is needed the most. None of us marry to upset our spouse, none of us have children to spoil their mindset and last but not the least none of work to let it play havoc over our personal peace and pleasure.

In spite of all this, why is it we still crib about work affecting life.
Is it wrong to have a family when you planner has entries for career calls!
But history speaks the other tongue. Great people have very much had families. Its somewhere in between we people are messing up between the so called “WORK PRESSURE “and “PERSONAL LIFE”.

Just as I write this I m reminded of a forwarded mail I once received, a fellow dude had very clearly mentioned the changes he found in work before and after his wedding.
One prominent thing was...

His Bachelor life gave him the liberty to stay overtime with his work. This meant more effort; result and credit against his name. He was a very dependable resource. Once after his wedding, he started to juggle between his work and family,and ended up burning both the ends.

Somewhere in this transition, people loose track of their rational sense to manage their priorities.

What do they really mean by “Quality” when they say they are not able to give “Quality Time”. My profession as a software engineer forces me to look out Customer Satisfaction Index to define ‘Quality’.

Customer can again be divided into direct customer and indirect Customers.
The Direct Customer would be “ME” or “ONESELF”; and
the Indirect customer would be those people who are associated with me...in other words those who are bothered by the “Quality Time” I spent with them and those whose Disappointments ( in this aspect) bother me.

Which means the Quality Benchmark should vary in accordance with the person I am dealing with. A very simple example would be this; the Quality time I spend for my spouse should be different from what I spend for my child. I must not only look out to establish a chemistry between myself and the person I m trying spend “Quality Time” with; but also try to balance the equation.

It’s something like this:
I know the quality time and effort you are spending in reading this post.... (Chemical Equation Established)
I value your time... the post ends here… (Equation balanced!)





Friday, March 03, 2006

Mystic Melancholy

Caution : this post too has lots of typos and grammatical flaws!!

She had got all that she wanted. A happy family, a posh home, a trendy car, a husband she loved and still loves, a sweet child with the sweetest of smile, an excellent and happening career.
What more could one ask for?
But here we have her asking for more. Maybe even ready to give up some of the above for more of something else. Something which is still ‘Something’ to her.
Every time the sense of emptiness creeps in, she feels the mighty dragon of melancholy slash her soul, mind, smile, thoughts, words, deeds and of late even the people around her.
The thought that she has missed and is missing ‘Something’ never stops nagging her.

Her thoughts started becoming more paradoxical with every attempt to unravel the mystery. The infection of sadness spread across her otherwise active mind. She never again experienced the excitement in her child’s eye which would have otherwise brought glee to its mother nor did she enjoy those memorable moments with her family. Her life started losing its petty charm.
The feigning smile and the laurels of success that adorned her closet camouflaged the mystic melancholy within her.

Luckily the rational voice in her prompted a wise move! A move drastic enough to shake off the giant within her.
She decided to unravel the Myth of the Mystic Melancholy.

Now came the bigger ordeal!! To realize what became the question!

It seemed like the quest of a mortal to realize God...
He knows GOD is omnipresent...And its a matter of a realizing His Presence.!
But to realize what becomes a question again!! Omnipresence has its own problems!!


On one such onslaughts of the mighty wave of melancholy, she decided to give it a mighty blow—whatever it might be.
It was decision taken at that moment but nevertheless a wise decision.
She started drawing in the timeline graph of the “Mystic melancholy Syndrome”.


Blah… blah…Clge projects ..Saying yes to HIM…Tying the marital knot ….
The loan she got ….The crucial project she took over in office …The kid …blah..

She tried to figuring out the common or remotely common factor or factors that would possibly connect those listed.




This factor turned out to be very elusive.

Random thoughts reached nowhere ….
The aspect that linked college project and the kid??
The link between her saying YES to his proposal and the recent project she took over?? The factor common to the vow of marriage that she took up and the loan proposal she jus committed to.... [p]..

For a second she felt the brightness of knowledge dawn on her. The link! The first glimpse of the culprit who for long has held her soul captive!

"The vow of marriage and the loan proposals.....both are commitments she needs to live up to!
The crucial projects and kids, acceptance of his proposal...all spelt commitments, all spelt responsibly!! “


The fear of facing the mighty giant made her numb with all the courage she could summon she tried to strip the culprit and recover the sheen it had held captive so long.

After a long struggle with the details of the past... She framed a conclusion. The conclusion was bitter. Bitter than the bitterest of pills the doctor can prescribe for the simple fact that ‘truth can never always be the way you want it to be!’
And the truth said she lacked conviction... She lacked belief... She hated being held accountable for anyone or any anything....
On the whole ... far within the successful family/career woman lay a very undependable, fragile soul.
With more and more success coming her way, the weight of commitment and belief also rocketed. Now that it has reached its threshold, it has caught her panicky!

A sigh of relief was still far. A task has been found but still undone!
Will she kill the ghost that haunted her soul for long?
Will she really wipe out the myth and make it a thing of past!
Will her ever come out the melancholy?
All these questions have a single answer.
Conviction is the key…! Will she unleash it?? It’s up to her rather her conviction to get things straight and slay the giant of the Mystic Melancholy!